Father Hardy and the Hooker

Time once more to visit with the blessedly-religious Father Hardy as he talks with parishoners after mass.

Father Hardy: Ahh, Patrick! How are ya?
Patrick: Father, you’ll be happy ta know I took your advice and spent me money wisely.
Father Hardy: Great! Did you feed the hungry?
Patrick: No, Father.
Father Hardy: Did you clothe the poor?
Patrick: No, Father. I don’t remember you sayin those tings.
Father Hardy: Why, Patrick, I say those things every Sunday in my sermon!
Patrick: Beggin yer pardon, Father, but I’m usually asleep then.
Father Hardy: Allright then, here’s a refresher: Patrick, if you do those things, you’ll secure yourself a place in heaven!
Patrick: But that’s why I give money to you, Father.
Father Hardy: Oh, well, we wouldn’t want to see that stop, now would we?
Patrick: No, Father. I’m talkin about what you said at the mixer last week, when we were standin’ next to the punch bowl. Did you know there was whiskey in that punch?
Father Hardy: Really? By the way, me sayin’ that Clancy and Shamus were gay, that was all just good fun.
Patrick: Of course! Still, it’s probably true. Anyways, I was talkin about when you said that a hooker is a woman you pay 400 dollars to so’s she’ll do something for ya that no other woman will do.
Father Hardy: Well, Patrick, I’d have to say that was the whiskey talkin’.
Patrick: But Father, I took your advice! I paid a hooker 400 dollars to come to my house last Tuesday.
Father Hardy: Really, Patrick, I don’t want to hear this outside confession.
Patrick: She sat next to me on the couch whilst I was watching football, and she truly did something no other woman has ever done for me whilst I was watching football!
Father Hardy: And what was that, Patrick?
Patrick: She kept her mouth shut!

Be with us next time when Father Hardy texts a picture from the parish cookout.
(click)
Father Hardy: Now there’s a picture of a fine weiner!


click here to listen