ZAPPA AUTO PARTS

HI, I’M THE LATE FRANK ZAPPA. AWHILE BACK MY BUSINESS MANAGER TOLD ME THAT SALES OF MY ALBUMS AND CONCERT TICKETS HAD “PLATEAU-ED” AND I NEEDED TO DIVERSIFY MY PORTFOLIO. SO I BOUGHT A CHAIN OF AUTO PARTS STORES.

NOW, IF YOU’RE LIKE ME, YOU KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT WHAT MAKES YOUR CAR RUN OR HOW TO INSTALL ANY OF ITS MOVING PARTS. AS A MATTER OF FACT, EXCEPT FOR COUNTRY MUSIC STARS AND NEIL YOUNG, MOST MUSICIANS ARE CLUELESS ABOUT CARS. BUT THEY STILL NEED THE WORK, WHICH IS WHY I HIRED A BUNCH OF THEM TO SIT BEHIND THE COUNTERS OF MY AUTO PARTS STORES. AS A BONUS, THEY PROVIDE REAL LIVE MUSAK WHILE YOU SHOP FOR YOUR FRAMMAZATS AND DOOHICKEYS AND WHATZITS AND THINGEYS AND OTHER IMPORTANT CAR PARTS.

SO COME ON DOWN TO ZAPPA AUTO PARTS, WHERE THE PRICES ARE CHEAP AND THE EXPERTISE IS NON-EXISTANT. THANK YOU.

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