(with thanks to Johnny W. Timpane, Esk.)
ANNOUNCER: Tune in next week on 63 Minutes when a group of scholars gather to discuss that burning issue, THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION IN MEDIEVAL FRANCE. But right now, it’s time for “Psychic Phenomena Today!” Our guest is Mrs. Panchita Prempfplooder, who says she has seen great wonders!
P: Very great wonders.
A: And what kind of wonders have you seen, Peepee?
PP: Great ones. Really big.
A: Like what?
PP: I have seen a very small canary . . .
A: Uh-huh . . .
PP: Turned into . . .
A: [Excited now] Yes” Yes?
PP: . . . a medium-size one.
A: Truly amazing! What size was this canary again?
A: And what size did this pygmy canary finally attain?
PP: Oh, size 4 and three-quarters, almost five. Men’s smallish, or Portly Lady’s. Just right for summer wear, or just strolling on the beach.
A: And this miraculous transformation was instantaneous?
PP: No no no! That’s what was so amazing about it. This occurred over a period of years!
A: How many years?
PP: About ten.
A: Hmmm. So a small canary became a little bit bigger over a period of ten years.
PP: Can you believe it?
A: Shut up.
PP: You shut up.
A: We can have you killed.
PP: OK, I’ll shut up.
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