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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Rupert Murdock Taps The Phones

(Phone dials, rings)

Official: Mr. President, we may have to attack the compound.
President: But that might cause an international incident. I’ll have to look at all the alternatives.
Rupert: Alternatives, schmalternatives!

Rupert Murdoch, tapping into phones to solve the world’s problems!

Rupert: Bomb the ‘ell out of ‘em, I say!

No problem is too small for the Murdoch touch!

Son: Daddy, I got a B plus on my test!
Dad: That’s great, Bobby!
Rupert: Shoulda been an A!

Woman: I don’t know whether to go with the red dress or the yellow dress.
Rupert: Get the red! Yellow makes ya look fat!

Rupert Murdoch cuts through the crap to give you the answers you need!

Man: Doctor, I’m feeling nauseous and my eyes have turned yellow.
Doctor: Nothing to worry about, Mr. Plimpton. Come in to the office tomorrow and we’ll have a look.
Rupert: Sounds to me like you’re dyin’ mate!
Man: Doctor! Am I dying??
Doctor: Of course you aren’t, Mr. Plimpton! Who is this?
Rupert: Sounds to me like you’re a quack! Bad doctor alert! Quack! Quack!

Rupert Murdock – solving problems on a phone near you – whether you like it or not!

Man: Yeah, I’d like to order a large pepperoni pizza.
Rupert: No, you want sausage.

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