WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF THE RULES OF BROADCASTING! TODAY, WE’RE FOCUSING ON THE RULES CONCERNING WOMEN IN THE BROADCAST MEDIA.
· LADIES, IF YOU APPLY FOR ON-AIR RADIO OR TELEVISION POSITIONS, BE AWARE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE A CLEAR VOICE, AN UPBEAT PERSONALITY, A PLEASANT DEMEANOR, AND EXCEPTIONALLY LARGE HOOTERS.
· A WORD OF WARNING: NEVER LET A BROADCAST EXECUTIVE PAY YOU ONLY A THIRD OF WHAT THE MALE BROADCASTERS ARE BEING PAID! THIS IS DISCRIMINATION! INSIST ON GETTING AT LEAST HALF OF WHAT THE MEN ARE PAID! STAND YOUR GROUND!
· IF A MAN WORKING AT THE STATION ASKS YOU TO GET HIM COFFEE, YOU ARE PERFECTLY CORRECT IN POINTING OUT THAT THE COFFEE MAKER IS IN THE NEXT ROOM, AND HE IS MORE THAN WELCOME TO GET IT HIMSELF. AND IF YOU’D LIKE TO SHOW OFF A BIT OF THAT UPBEAT PERSONALITY, YOU CAN ADD A CLEVER RETORT, SUCH AS, “GET YOUR OWN COFFEE, NUMB-NUTS!”
· YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO ADOPT AN ON-AIR NAME THAT MAKES YOU SEEM EROTIC, BUT ACCESSABLE; SEXY, BUT SWEET. CHOICES INCLUDE: KIRSTEN, KRISTIN, KRISTINE, KRISSY (WITH AN I DOTTED WITH A LITTLE HEART), KRISTA, AND KIRSTA – ALL SPELLED WITH THE LETTER “K” OF COURSE!
IN CLOSING, PLEASE REMEMBER THAT BROADCASTING CAN BE A FUN, CHALLENGING JOB FOR A WOMAN. IT SHOULDN’T, BUT IT CAN.
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