(Noted expert Professor Info VonPoop has been looking into the connection between the arrival of spring and the turning of young men's fancies. Here are the results of that study.)
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It’s spring, when a young man’s fancy turns to – NASCAR. Or, if you’re slightly older, baseball. But no matter what time of year it is, guys still want to get laid. In doing research on the topic of love, I turned to the place where many of my philosophical questions are answered – the many channels of Sirius-XM Satellite Radio.
• Over on the 60s Channel, John Lennon told me all I need is love.
• On the 70s Channel, Gary Wright told me his love is alive!
• On the 80s Channel, Pat Benetar told me that love is a battlefield. Then Alan Hunter told me love is an MTV royalty check. Then Nina Blackwood said something I couldn’t understand.
• On Classic Vinyl, Mick Jagger told me love is a bitch.
• Howard Stern said love had something to do with breasts and penises, both large.
• Martha Stewart says love, quiche and potting sheds are all good things.
• I don’t know what Oprah says about love, ‘cause i didn’t pay extra to get “The Best Of XM” channel.
I hope this helps.
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