Impossible Jeopardy!

WELCOME BACK TO IMPOSSIBLE JEOPARDY – HERE AGAIN IS YOUR HOST, ALEX TREBEK!

ALEX: THANK YOU JOHNNY, AND WELCOME BACK! WELL, PLAYERS, IT SEEMS THAT AFTER THE FIRST ROUND OF IMPOSSIBLE JEOPARDY, BRAD’S IN THE LEAD AT MINUS 2400, PENNY IS NEXT AT MINUS 3200, AND KEN, THE JUDGES HAVE DECIDED THAT THEY DIDN’T LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE WHEN YOU ANSWERED THE QUESTION ABOUT RING POPS IN THE FIRST ROUND, SO YOU START THIS ROUND AN EXTRA 200 DOLLARS IN THE HOLE AT MINUS FOUR THOUSAND.

KEN: WHAT? C’MON, ALEX, THEY’RE NOT THE MOST DELICIOUS THING EVER!

ALEX: SORRY, KEN, BUT THE JUDGES’ DECISION IS FINAL.

KEN: ASSHOLES…

ALEX: PLAYERS, WE’RE ABOUT TO PLAY DOUBLE IMPOSSIBLE JEOPARDY, WHERE THE DOLLAR VALUES ARE DOUBLED! HERE ARE THE CATEGORIES:

• THINGS WE DON’T KNOW
• INVISIBLE STUFF
• COLORS
• ANCIENT ROMAN SLANG
• FOOD
• NONSENSE WORDS

BRAD, YOU’RE UP FIRST!

BRAD: OK, ALEX, I’LL TAKE COLORS FOR 400.

ALEX: THE ANSWER IS: RED!

BRAD: WHAT IS….A PRIMARY COLOR?

BUZZZ!

ALEX; NO, BRAD, SORRY. THE CORRECT QUESTION IS, WHAT IS MY FAVORITE COLOR. TOO BAD. PENNY, YOUR TURN!

PENNY: I’LL TAKE FOOD FOR 400.

ALEX: THE ANSWER IS: BRUSSELS SPROUTS!

PENNY: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD, ALEX?

BUZZZ!

ALEX: NO, SORRY. ANYONE ELSE? BRAD?

BRAD: WHAT IS A MEMBER OF THE CABBAGE FAMILY?

ALEX: CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC?

BRAD: WHAT IS …A GREEN MEMBER OF THE CABBAGE FAMILY?

BUZZZ!

ALEX: NO, SORRY, THE ANSWER WE WERE LOOKING FOR WAS “THE MEMBER OF THE CABBAGE FAMILY THAT PRODUCES THE WORST SMELLING FARTS.” SO YOU WERE CLOSE THERE, BRAD, BUT NOT EXACT. KEN, YOU’RE UP!

KEN: UM, LET’S TRY NONSENSE WORDS FOR 400, ALEX.

ALEX: THE ANSWER IS: CORRECTLY SPELL THE SOUND EFFECT THWUMPF!

KEN: OH MY GOD….UM…T…H..W..U..M..P.

BUZZZ!

ALEX: OH, SORRY, KEN, I WAS SURE YOU WERE GONNA GET THAT ONE. YOU LEFT OUT THE LAST LETTER. IT’S T-H-W-U-M-P-F! YOU FORGOT THE “F” THERE AT THE END.

KEN: YOU KNOW WHAT, ALEX? YOU AND YOUR JUDGES CAN TAKE THIS STUPID GAME AND SHOVE IT! I’M OUTTA HERE!

ALEX: ALL RIGHT, KEN, SORRY TO SEE YOU GO, JUST MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE YOUR CHECK WITH THE RECEPTIONIST ON THE WAY OUT.

KEN: CHECK? WHAT CHECK?

ALEX: KEN, YOU’RE AT NEGATIVE FORTY-FOUR HUNDRED. YOU OWE US FORTY-FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS.

KEN: WHAT?

ALEX: THOSE ARE THE RULES, KEN.

KEN: I DON’T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY!

ALEX: WELL, THEN, YOU’LL HAVE TO SPEAK TO OUR PRODUCER, GUIDO.

GUIDO: I UNDERSTAND THERE’S A SMALL PROBLEM HERE?

KEN: NO! WAIT! I’LL STAY!

ALEX: GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK WITH US, KEN! AND PLAYERS, HERE’S TODAY’S FINAL JEOPARDY QUESTION:

DING!

ALEX: COULD GOD MAKE A BURRITO SO HOT EVEN HE COULDN’T EAT IT?
WE’LL BE BACK WITH THEIR ANSWERS IN A MOMENT….

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